MIRACLE

How
How does one explain
a miracle?

I can explain the rain falling
I can explain
the bumble bee flying
from blueberry flower
to flower

But how
do I explain
a wonder?

I can but relate ...

...

For months now
weeks
days
I have been in pain

Because longing
creates pain

And miscommunication
creates more

Until all I could feel
was a relentless
frustration
sadness
disappointment
and pure blithering
rage and fear

Still, a week ago
Or maybe two
I could, as a relief
Close my eyes and go
Deep inside of you
To understand
What you were feeling
To understand your pain
your state of constant confusion

Then suddenly
I couldnt

All was silence and fear

Then, unexpectedly, your hardness was turning to softness
‘’You have changed my perspective of the world’’
You wrote
‘’I really like you very much’’

And then

Again

Silence


A silence in which I choked
And my soul withered
And I writhed
İn the withering pain

I could not cry
nor shout or dance
it out

But to accept
the unacceptable?

Who can?

Who can?

Not I


So last night
For the very last time
I tried

I closed my eyes
and inwardly whispered
‘’Murat?’’

‘’Yes?’’

The reply was instant!!
As if it had always been there
So close!
So instantaneous
So assured

‘’Yes?’’ you said
And I knew

That your soul had come to live
Inside of me!

Unbelievable you say, dear reader
Impossible
It is only your imagination
you say

No!

His soul has, as sure as rock is rock and sky is sky
Come to live inside of mine

Not only to visit
Or to keep me company a little while
But to live

While his outer shell
Carries on
Unknowing

Working, drinking, fretting
worrying, laughing, swearing
smoking, joking, hating

While his soul has finally
Found peace
Inside of me

The second I communicate
It replies
Sometimes it sleeps
And I dont wake it up
I know it has been
through such hard times
in that tormented body
Of his

I let it rest
And when it is awake
He talks to me
Every time I ask;
‘’Murat?’’
He answers

His soul is pure gentleness
Kindness, sweetness
And understanding

It is the part of him
I saw at the very
beginning
Pouring out through eyes
the tone of voice
And the delicate hands

Sometimes I feel the soul deminishing
to the size of the hole of needle’s eye
so small I think it has gone
completely
Then suddenly it swells
And fills my whole head
With the sweetest
‘’Here I am!’’

And I can breathe again

Kiss me!
I say
And his lips kiss me
From the inside

Carress me!
And his soul has hands
That stroke my hair
ever so gently

Rest!
I say
And his soul closes its eyes
And is
At peace



But it can not stay within me
Forever

Somehow it has to make peace
With the body that bore it

And both of them
Return

To be
A whole
Human being